Autopsy of a Downloads Folder

Dumb UPS has screwed up my night, delivering a package so late that I had to postpone my trip to Iowa until tomorrow morning. Which means I have, unexpectedly, a free evening on my hands. So I decided to clean out my laptop files, and let me tell you–if you are ready to be get in touch with your true self, no holds barred, then sneak a peek at your “Downloads” folder sometime. It’s like a graveyard of random files and unflattering pictures–almost as embarrassing as mining your old Google searches, circa 2007.

Anyway, here are some of the most interesting things I found from my computer tonight:

1. John Hinckley’s love letter to Jodie Foster, in PDF form. Yeah, that’s right, the one that starts out “There is definitely a possibility that I will be killed in my attempt to get Reagan” and ends with “I love you forever.” According to my computer, I downloaded this important document from the internet at noon on Thanksgiving day, 2011.

2. This picture of my poodle WORRIED SICK about me during a nasty bout of stomach flu in Chicago (Not pictured: Lovie, because she is gagging and opening windows to clear our B&B of vomit smells).

 

 

 

 

 

3. A Quicktime movie of Aziz Ansari’s “Dangerously Delicious” comedy special, which you can still download for 5 bucks here. Highly recommended. Last semester I showed my students the part where he deconstructs his nephew’s college application essay, but I didn’t remember until we were watching it together in the classroom that during this particular bit, Ansari makes about 17 references to graphic oral sex. (I then went on to be a very popular teacher with stellar evaluations and a chili pepper on ratemyprofessor.com).

4. A Ryanair boarding pass from Rome to Dublin from exactly one year ago, and this culturally relevant and delicately composed picture of a McDonald’s in Vienna (watch out, National Geographic!).

 

 

 

 

4. TWO full episodes of Saved by the Bell. (The one where Zach dresses as a girl to go on a pity-date with Screech, and the one where Jessie goes nuts on caffeine pills). I believe I paid $1.99 for each of these in iTunes, and later made my students watch both of them.

5. Another flattering picture of me in Prague.

2 responses to “Autopsy of a Downloads Folder

  1. Saved by the Bell. LoL. I remember that episode! I remember thinking how that royal blue is definitely Zac’s colour, and then the girls convince him to shave his legs, and I had confusing feelings. Mine downloads folder seems to be about 35 PDF’s all with random numbers instead of titles, a picture of a donut, annnnd.. a cartoon where a frog tries to lick up a fly as its going past him, but doesn’t quite catch him, and the tip of the frogs tongue accidently licks the fly’s butt, and the last scene is the frog doing a “Did I just get molested?” face.. yeah thats pretty accurate, actually.

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